colour

Yeah, apparantly I can syndicate my blog with my facebook. That's pretty cool =D. So anyway. I guess I don't really need a blog now that I've got Writer's Craft. That's where all my excess emotions go to, anyway. That and talking to people of course. But I suppose I'll keep updating this with excerpts from what I've written for WC. Hehe. Here's the last one we had to do. We had to try "show but not tell" a certain emotion. So I had to try to make the person feel an emotion without saying "I felt enfuriated..." for example. Here's mine. Try to guess what the emotion is, if you like.

 

 

 

The muffled murmur of distant music coaxes my mind as I stare out into the black lake. The winds blow roughly in the night as the cruise boat moves with the slow rhythm of the waves. The night sky above consumes my attention, its darkness drawing me in and holding me like men captured by the songs of sirens. A faint voice from one standing next to me resonates in my ears, yet the words are muffled just as the music. My concentration remains on the night sky, the never ending black abyss, dotted with tiny rays of hope. Yet the rays are distant, just as the voice, and the music, and all of the people they belong to.

 

An intonation in the pitch of the speaker next to me signifies that a question has been asked. I quickly apologize and ask for a clarification; it is given. A solemn nod is my response to the enquiry, and the repetitive lull of the voice continues once again. Yet after the interruption, my thoughts remain on the figure next to me. My eyes drift to the side subconsciously, but I pull them back into the darkness, where they belong. This time, however, the rays rather than the black velvet of the sky catch my eye. Is it so wrong to wish for that which seems so distant?

 

My gaze drops to the cold water below. It has life, yet it is an icy one, void of the youthful vitality and joy it brings when sparkling in the sunbeams of the morning. It is dark, just as the night sky above, and it too seeps into my thoughts. Holding me in its grip, I shiver and realize that the wind has grown stronger. Cold, everything is cold. The life which I once saw in the wind and the water and the sky are now gone. In the same way, the vibrant key of those which speak to me day to day and of the instruments and voices of musicians has now dissipated. Everything is distant, like the stars. Never drawing nearer, never making anything warmer; always far, and cold. And as I look down into the water one last time, I wish it would swallow me up. I wish it would show me how deep it went, and how cold and dark the bottom got. For in my mind I am already there, there at the bottom of the lake, where all things fade and only the murmur of distant music and the lulling voices can coax my mind and sooth it from the pain, until finally I have forgotten it all in sleep.

Spring

            Summer

                        Autumn

                                    Winter

 

Curly locks on a young child bounce up and down before being drenched with clear fluid in a miniature bath tub.

 

Tiny hands pick up a bucket filled half way with water and empty the contents into a pool of sand; the same hands are then imprinted on the surface before being burrowed in the muddy paradise.

 

            The characters on the screen moved in accordance with the rectangular-shaped control panel—the red buttons pressed quickly for the desired effect of two avid gamers.

 

The adrenaline rushed through the small figure as for the first time she walked through the blue doors, greeted by the friendly chatter of others.

 

            Singing and music filled the room with brilliant noise and in a moment is disrupted by the laughter of its makers who break into chatter due to some ridiculous phenomenon.

 

            Thirty faces peeped out beyond recognition: all looking the same, all smiling with intimidating delight.

 

                        A round of insults and confusing mischief thrown about here and there with nothing but laughter as a result; bonds formed between friends that will last a lifetime; all know what the underlying message is.

 

                                    The violent remarks reflected the fire of utmost disgust and betrayal within the speaker. The giver breathed heavily after each sentence, the practice drew from not only her physical but emotional bank, and she nearly collapsed after she had finished.

 

                                    Where are you? Who are You? Who am I? Lost without You, disjointed, disconnected, dissipating. ‘This sin has made me crazy and I must get out.’

 

            Always with me, always there, help me to recover, help me to mend; sitting in the stillness, listening to the rustling of the wind through the leaves, loving all there is to love…

 

                                    Much was said that day, through these words of blinking text at the bottom of the screen, yet you assured me that this thing which had been found was not what you were looking for—this disappointment nearly too much to handle.

 

                        Lost in the song, thrown off by euphoria, heart racing—all else disappears.

 

                                    He’s acting more strange than normal, something must be off; whispers tell me the needle has done the damage.

 

            Asking opinions on who they are, we can only guess. Swinging legs from one sitting on a table, the other tells of how he is not known, yet he will not hide. Truth is the factor; through it should live be lived.

 

                        Furrowed eyebrows highlighted distressed eyes as they traced the page for news on how relatives in another country were. “We are hiding,” “huddling under blankets,” “boys are scared.” Words forever embedded in memory.

 

                                    A head burrowed in arms, sitting at a desk. Broken down and lost yet no one can interpret what it is these words mean, for how can one help if not one is in understanding?

 

                        Staring at the blank screen for hours, waiting, would they come back as they had promised? In a moment the wait goes from naught to all as the words pop up as blue text at the bottom of the screen. “I’m here and here forever.”

 

The words form a bridge linking imagination to reality and throwing the listener into ecstasy. The realization of truth, the beauty of all that is good, a feeling of Love...

 

The quick and lively steps on the pavement are fired by colourful lyrics to mellow songs, and this comfortable pace is reflected in the listener’s eyes and thoughts. The feeling of loneliness brought on by the melodies has not its regular effect, but now comforts rather than frightens. “Why? Because you know something wonderful is coming.”

 

                        Barely stirring, thoughts un-blurring, piecing together all the events of the past; “sanctify my soul, hollow my body, correct my thoughts, cleanse my mind; deliver me from all tribulation, evil and distress…”

 

 

Echo

            Echo

                        Echo

                                    Repeat

I feel nearly on the verge of crying. I don't know why, too many excess emotions, I guess. That and waiting at school for an hour for my father to show up. I just wanna sleep, but I feel that there's too much to be done to do that.

 

in this blackout inertia will hold our thoughts

and the exit sign offers no light to see by

can we cast our shadows alone in the dark?

i can't see without you.

-Hole in the World, Thursday

 

oh how we shouted, how we screamed:

"take notice, take interest, take me with you."

but all our fears fall on deaf ears.

-Several Ways to Die Trying, Dashboard Confessional

 

i'm so tired of being here

surpressed by all my childish fears.

-My Immortal, Evanescence

 

"so, just walk away and let me go."

"i can't my darling, i love you so."

-Nothing Better, The Postal Service

 

Well, school starts up again tomorrow. To tell the truth, the only part to school I really want back is the weekly chapels. Everything else I could do without. The fellowship, however, I don't know how I'm going to replace in the years after this one.

 

Today I took my last little walk to the park. I was on the swingset for about an hour, listening to Dashboard Confessional tunes on my iPod, as was my new habbit for the summer. I'm going to miss doing that. Maybe I'll still do it when Autumn comes around, though it looks like my favourite season will be short-lived again this year. It's already getting cold, and I don't like winter. I'm always cold anyways, the last thing I need is the temperature to frost me more than I already had been.

 

I've been reading a lot this summer, I hope that I'll be able to continue that throughout the school year. It would be quite interesting if I could, indeed. I've decided that I really shouldn't spend so much time on the computer. And decided that I would only be online from the hours of 8-10. Ten thereby being my time to go to bed, as John's was this year. I'm going to clean up my routine in hopes of helping me clean up myself.

 

I thought last year was going to be my practise for this year, but I realize now that I don't get that chance. This is it. Without trust in myself, I'm going to have to fully rely on God to pull me through. This is it. If I can take it one day at a time, moment by moment, I'll be able to fight this thing that's scared me so much. With His help, and the help of those He sends to aid me, I'll be able to make it through. And even if I don't end up with exactly what I had originally planned, there's always another way... ((Thankyou for teaching me that...))

Well now that I've made this place look at least half decent, I guess I'll try writing up something.

 

Today someone from Z103.5 came to our store and asked for about $150.00 worth of ice cream. It was pretty cool. Apparantly, Baskin Robins is doing some kind of a promotion with Z103, so yeah. It was nifteh.

 

And then we went to Staples and I got coloured pens. They're cool. Almost as cool as me, but not really.

 

I should write something else. Um, apple pie is yummy, and tictac is cool. And mint chocolate chip is awesome ice cream. What else? Well. There's really not much else I suppose. =D Another worthless entry. I'll make a better one next time, I promise.